“Moderation” — it isn’t in the ukulele player’s vocabulary, so why are you hesitating? You actually believe there are limits to the uke obsession? Puh-shah!! No way! Enjoy a stress-free Valentine’s Day: build your uke-crazed sweetie this heart-shaped ukulele box then fill it with See’s candies, jelly beans, an engagement ring, or Jake Shimabukuro tickets — whatever you do rest assured that ya done good.

Download “Ukulele Valentine Heart Box” template (532kB PDF)

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Love rainy Fall days in LA — snow-capped mountains, clean air, and guilt-free excuse to hang indoors reading and doodle. Such was Sunday afternoon, and after downing a cup over at Jones Coffee Roasters, I wound up playing uke under the eaves of the South Pas Library, enjoying the crashing drum roll of water spilling from its gutters. While there I got this great advice from an elderly Japanese neighbor, a longtime ukester himself — from the 50′s: “On rainy day… play LOUD!!”.

Mele Kalikimaka! Joyeux Noël! メリークリスマス Froehliche Weihnachten! Maligayang Pasko!

I enjoy noodling with the oh-so-sexy uke’s shape, ’tis quite pleasing to draw. And within the ukulele family nothing tops the “pocket” ukulele’s exaggerated, peanut perfect proportions, besting even its more popular big brother, the soprano, for pure ukie-ness. Anyway, with the holidays upon us it’s time to post more uke love.

Choose between iPhone or iPad versions, as well as a 5 x 7 inch size suitable for printing as your Holiday card (so please put away that soggy Santa hat your dog’s been teething on for the past year and tell the neighbor you won’t need to borrow his chocolate Labrador this afternoon for your Christmas card photo). All formats available in Hawaiian, English, French, German, Tagalog and Japanese.

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Ever wonder what it’s like inside your Jack o’Lantern? No? Really? Oh…

OK, did you just take a great shot of your prize winning pumpkin carving — Dr.Who on one side and Cthulhu on the other, but the exposure of its interior is blown out? This bother you… lots? Really? You, my friend, are truly obsessive — and my kind of Halloween geek.

Use this photo to fix your sad pumpkin photography mishaps. Just mask out your lost eyes and mouth(s) and use this cut-away pumpkin interior stock photo and all’s betterest (higher resolution up on Flickr).

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A while back Ben and I bought a couple ukulele kits from Grizzly Industrial (kits include cheap, unfinished plywood body, neck, fretboard, and a bag of gear & crap strings). With typically high hopes we set about designing — and lo, did the summer quickly pass. It’s Fall, Halloween’s just around the corner, and I’d like to knock mine out, so I’d thought this vampire bat ukulele would look great. Ben, ever the stick in the mud, thinks picking bat wing splinters out of your armpit (or crotch) just might interfere with playing. A fair point.

So instead I’ll be printing some of these out, double sided, and hanging them around my cube, perhaps fashioning a mobile. If you or your uke end up using this let me know.

This “ukulele merit badge” sporting Israel Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole, better known as Bruddah Iz, is only a test/rough-draft, the first from a set of about 30 badges that’ll appear on a site targeting novice to “advanced beginner” uke players (I’m more toward the low-end of that talent scale myself). The site’s gist is offering guidance — lesson plans and skill challenges to keep learning fresh and avoid burnout or that frustration from “getting stuck” or not knowing what to try next.

Though he passed some years ago Iz remains incredibly beloved in his Hawai’i and you’ll no doubt recognize his Over The Rainbow/What a Wonderful World cover. Checkout NPR’s profile of Iz on their “50 Great Voices” series. So familiar to the ukulele community is this song that… well:

Q: How many ukulele players does it take to cover a Bruddah Iz song?

A: Apparently all of them.

Oh, tip of the hat to Mayang’s Free Textures for the free hi-res cloth texture.

This year’s card almost didn’t happen — not through a lack of ideas, but somehow, after a dozen rough sketches and a color study or two, still didn’t feel ready. But, as they say, nothing like a deadline to focus the mind. So here ya go. As usual the larger version’s available on Flickr.

“I Crave Your Brains…
But Will Settle For Your Heart!“

P.S. Yes, I know, grammatically it’s “brain” , but everyone knows a singular v. plural argument with a charging zombie is pointless at best and quite ill timed at worst.

A few weeks ago Ludlow suggested several Zombie Christmas items (for Ben’s novel, Rise Again), this Zombie Snowflake being among them. My first attempt mistakenly began by folding the paper in successive halves – yielding an 8-pointed Zombie Hawai’ian quilt pattern — lovely, but a fairly unconvincing snowflake. So, it sat fallow, until last weekend when I did this 6-pointed version. (BTW, if you do make a zombie Hawai’ian quilt, please let me know — it’d be awesome!)

Download Zombie Snowflake Papercraft Pattern (87KB PDF)

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Recently, while Ben Tripp (also a ukulele player) and I were adding zombie holiday gift tags to his book’s website (where, incidentally, you can download tons of other great zombie-inspired freebies, RiseAgainTheNovel.com) we realized, in a moment of complete dimwitted obviousness, that the world desperately needs more free uke goodies. So here ya go, a set of twelve DIY gift tags. Enjoy!

Download Ukulele “DIY” Holiday Gift Tags (205KB PDF)

Also available from my Flickr stream:

Oh, the notorious “Zombie Papercraft Nativity Set” is not longer available on his site (long story, apparently), but someone has kindly reposted it on ZombieChristmas.org.

Few things are as pleasant as lazing around strumming the uke, but admit it, don’t ya sometimes wish it was smaller? Of course you do. So scratch that itch with this easy, DIY paper craft soprano ukulele.

Download Papercraft Soprano Ukulele (PDF)

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Ben’s first novel hits bookstores late this October (buy) and you should be excited (especially if you buy it). Rise Again‘s the real deal, a character-driven novel where some (buy now) characters occasionally eat the others. So it goes. (c’mon, buy)

I had the opportunity to read an advanced galley which kept me up reading, red-rimmed eyes, far too late on a few consecutive school nights (buy, buy, buy).

So here’s my contribution to his effort: a zombie “half-mask” that you wear like a pirate’s eye patch — or more likely put up on your cubicle wall. Either way (buy). Grab the JPEG from my Flickr stream or (bought the book, yet?) go to his website, RiseAgainTheNovel.com (alledgedly it’ll be up sometime today) to download the PDF version.

The book’s speedy, movie-like action and real characters reminded me a bit of David Wellington’s “Thirteen Bullets”, all in a good way. (BUY IT!!!!!)

Oh, you should buy the book “Rise Again”.

I’m a tremendous fan of Beistle Company’s die-cut, 2-4 color pressboard Halloween decorations… now considered vintage but those are what hung on our front door and windows every year of my Kansas childhood. Excitedly pulling down that tape-patched cardboard box of Halloween decorations from our cedar attic meant that cool, damp fall mornings were just around the bend.

Just thinking of this triggers a Pavlovian response in me still, one of giddy anticipation and nostalgia.

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