Hummingbird v. Chicken Hawk — a true-life story (& iPhone Wallpaper)

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Funny thing about LA: on the one hand it’s the sprawl cliche — all freeways & parking lots and things human & concrete — on the other hand, however, we have some simply ginormous parks squeezed into those fluted hills. It’s not unusual then, when driving along roads abutting these open spaces, to spy a pack of coyotes loping sideways down the shoulder or be startled by a deer popping out of a landscaped median. It’s here, you’re just apt to forget is all.

The other day, on a lamp post overhanging the 110 freeway, perched a chicken hawk, stoically laughing at all the dumbasses crawling along the freeway at 1-5mph — when in swoops this turquoise hummingbird… attacking the hawk, this 15 pound hawk whose talons, visible from the roadway, must’ve measured an inch. The hummingbird continued diving and circling. After a good 10 seconds of harassment the hawk turned it’s head in annoyance for but a moment and appeared to study the little bird hovering inches away… before turning back toward the road to resume its silent vigil.

Oh, there’s no point or ending to this prosaic anecdote.

But can’t you imagine some elaborate backstory? A romance hastily ended, the hummingbird desperate to find out why. Or a Hepburn-Grant screwball comedy, unfolding 25′ above the asphalt? Or what about something more appropriate to LA — a noir bird crime story?

You can’t?

Oh. Never mind.

Thought I could make this in 45 minutes. I was wrong. Man, I’m slow in Adobe Illustrator.