yes, His visage!

His very likeness in my beverage!

Though my initial thought was "put it on eBay, so that others (or, at least, the highest bidder) might likewise know his beneficence and enjoy walking closer to
Him", sadly, the flesh is weak, I was sleepy, and in a moment succumbed, drinking His blessed Image.

(See images below.)

If your languid life lacks the carbo-loaded indifference of FSM’s noodly touch, then perhaps the FSM Ministries tract that changed my life will change yours, too. View cover

And for the young ones, here’s a lovable Flying Spaghetti Monster, manga-edition. Stop blaspheming with Pokemon, microwave your Jars of Clay crap, and hop onto the salvation train. large image.

May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage, too!

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Flying Spaghetti Monster Resources

• venganza.org
• FSM goods on CafePress
• wikipedia.org entry
• uncyclopedia.org entry
• Flickr pool
• Pesto Manifesto blog

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See Also

• Bible Stickers: Evolution v. Intelligent Design v. Enchilada Casserole: a proposal for requiring warning stickers in publicly held bibles.
• Flying Spaghetti Monster Coloring and Activity Book
• Flying Spaghetti Monster Valentine’s Day Cards print ‘em and trade with your "friends".

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Miracle Photos

Full-size picture of this miracle here

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Flying Spaghetti Monster Manga Edition

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NOTE: There are those that accuse me of shenanigans, tampering with my espresso machine to get the crema (tan-colored foam on the top of well-shot espresso) to form his likeness. Hah! I never.
I’ll pray for you.

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I hope schools still do this: provide a stressful holiday, one introducing the vagaries of popularity. Even more so I hope that kids still feel the excitement as I did as I lifted the pasteboard lid off my box of oh-so-thin cards with matching envelopes.

Valentine’s Day card #2: I Love You… but you must die.

Super-special FSM Teacher’s Valentine’s Day card: It didn’t take an "Intelligent Designer"…

My grade school, Antioch Elementary, indulged us this way: we had a classroom party, lots of cup cakes with pink frosting (homemade! no CostCo, our moms baked, often with a little help from Betty Crocker and Jack Daniel’s), but the highlight was popping off the lids of our Valentine Boxes.

The Valentine boxes were made early in the preceding week, then set on the shelf by the window, where we hoped our secret crushes would find satisfaction. The making of the box was a very personal act. Its shape, whether you opted for a shoe box or an oatmeal box, various grades of construction paper, stickers, stuff you’d saved up… it all got glued on. With a WIDE slot on top so no card would be refused.

We even had contests for best box. I won. I recall one red telephone shaped box and one, and here I’ve no idea why, but one year it was a black (posterboard) pot-bellied stove.

The inexpensive cards — a box of 36 ran about $1.65– were printed single-sided on card stock, the envelops really crappy. The better sets included stickers and printed envelops. Also, a good set had a Teacher card.

The idea was to ration the good cards, give those to your real friends, then dole out the cruddy ones to the kid that always smelt of playground asphalt and pee. Sometimes, even using last years cards. Or a Ziggy.

The card designs changed even in my few years of buying them. Shinier, more branding like Barbie, GI Joe, and Snoopy replacing the no-name ones.

Hey, I’m rambling– screw this. Let me know your ideas for other designs.

Check back, I’m planning on doing a few more designs and a bonus Teacher Card!

Answers to the two types of emails I’ve received: first, where are the hi-res versions (see below) and, two, how do I make these (sketch, software, etc)(see belower)

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Hi-res versions

• Monsterism Card, Design #1: “I’d be off my noodle… ” Adobe PDF (162 KB)
• Pirate Bears, Design #2: “…but you must die ” JPEG (163 KB)
• Flying Spaghetti Monster Teacher’s Valentine Card: “you evolved to be my valentine ” Adobe PDF (247 KB)

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See Also

• the 2007 Collection: Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards for the grumps of your life
• Flying Spaghetti Monster Coloring and Activity Book
• Flying Spaghetti Monster Appears in Coffee Froth (plus Manga/Anime version of Him/Her?) photos of FSM as he appeared to me, in my coffee. No, really. How rude, it did happen, you can’t fake photos, heretic.
• Bible Stickers: Evolution v. Intelligent Design v. Enchilada Casserole: a proposal for requiring warning stickers in publicly held bibles.

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More Resources

• venganza.org
• Yummmy Cupcakes, Burbank

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About the Sketches

While a few of these were done from scratch on the computer in Painter (a killer program) most of these pieces began as quick pencil sketches (sometimes in a pocket notebook, sometimes on Ajisen place mat — really nice paper, and great NOODLES!). Sketches get scanned then (usually) traced in Illustrator. Sketching takes two to fifteen minutes, Illustrator takes 1 to 8 hours.

The teddy bears/pirate/shark card was traced in Photoshop — mainly due to my dread of rendering believable water with Illustrator paths.

I’ve favored Illustrator for FSM-work mainly because his luscious noodles are just faster to do with Bezier curves than by hand sketching. Though I did one to good effect using Painter’s pens, I just don’t possess the coordination required on my Wacom tablet to use this exclusively.

Shown below, the original sketch for first Valentine’s Day Card (“I’d be off my Noodle if you’d be mine”). Here’s the original sketch for “I Love You… But You Must Die” card

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The sticker
should merely explain how this "god-bullshit" (to quote Howard Beale) is just a theory, and not a very predictive, testable, or reproducible one: so far
no one has actually ever arisen from the dead after three days nor fashioned a living being from mud or ribs (mmmmmm, ribs). So, "use
with caution, literal belief in the contents of the book you’re about to enjoy may make you stupid" (ala the [annoying, lawyer-driven] McDonald’s
coffee cup route, "the beverage you’re about to enjoy is extremely hot").

Now, I’m not demanding or even suggesting that it be placed in folks’ personal copies of the Good Book, just all publicly purchased or held ones (hmmm, just wondering, but did
god ever go on a book-signing tour, and if so, does anyone have a Holy Scripture inscribed with a personal dedication like "To Joan, Keep away from the pool boy and return the $35. Yours always (and always and always, etc.), – God")

Perhaps there is a legitimate need here. Perhaps a labeling system devised along the lines of the corrosive materials icons on the backs of trucks is valuable. Maybe not.

Just a thought.

Everyone has the right to be an idiot (me? eight times a day when I was young, but now only once or twice max), it’s just this celebrating anti-lectualism is tiresome.
Great, W! doesn’t read books and all presidential briefings are now translated into flip-books, but c’mon, folks, stop with the "tyranny of the masses" bit. We
got the message. Enjoy your majority, enjoy your church potlucks (I was quite fond of my Sunday school teacher’s enchilada casserole made with Dorritos and loads of sour cream– really, really good), take the exemption from the IRS, but give it a rest when it comes to spreading "the good word". Amen.

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Text of Cobb County Board of Education’s Sticker

"This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered."

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See Also

Flying Spaghetti Monster Appears in Coffee Froth (plus Manga/Anime version of Him/Her?) photos of FSM as he appeared to me, in my coffee. No, really. How rude, it did happen, you can’t fake photos, heretic.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Coloring and Activity Book

Flying Spaghetti Monster Valentine’s Day Cards print ‘em and trade with your “friends”.

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