Funny thing about LA: on the one hand it’s the sprawl cliche — all freeways & parking lots and things human & concrete — on the other hand, however, we have some simply ginormous parks squeezed into those fluted hills. It’s not unusual then, when driving along roads abutting these open spaces, to spy a pack of coyotes loping sideways down the shoulder or be startled by a deer popping out of a landscaped median. It’s here, you’re just apt to forget is all.

The other day, on a lamp post overhanging the 110 freeway, perched a chicken hawk, stoically laughing at all the dumbasses crawling along the freeway at 1-5mph — when in swoops this turquoise hummingbird… attacking the hawk, this 15 pound hawk whose talons, visible from the roadway, must’ve measured an inch. The hummingbird continued diving and circling. After a good 10 seconds of harassment the hawk turned it’s head in annoyance for but a moment and appeared to study the little bird hovering inches away… before turning back toward the road to resume its silent vigil.

Oh, there’s no point or ending to this prosaic anecdote.

But can’t you imagine some elaborate backstory? A romance hastily ended, the hummingbird desperate to find out why. Or a Hepburn-Grant screwball comedy, unfolding 25′ above the asphalt? Or what about something more appropriate to LA — a noir bird crime story?

You can’t?

Oh. Never mind.

Thought I could make this in 45 minutes. I was wrong. Man, I’m slow in Adobe Illustrator.

Oh. Do you have a suggestion for the card’s text? It’s never too late, and oh so easy to do better. I’d considered the simpler “you perk me up!”. Might make an alternate card for that. Or for yours.

Valentine’s Card Text: “I’m brewing a whole pot’a love for you, Valentine!!”

OK, if you have a better new domain name for Cycleway, please let me know. Is “.net” good? Argh? They also own CyclewayCafe.com

One more time: moved from dot-com to dot.net!?? Not “.com” (*sigh*)  It’s CyclewayCoffee.net. 

I’ll go cry now.

Valentine’s Card Text: “It’s hard to ‘espresso’ my feelings for you, Valentine!!”

Despite this crushingly late start here’s my first foray: a coffee-themed Valentine’s card (doubling as a bit of rah-rah for Cycleway Coffee).

(iPhone Valentine’s Wallpaper (shown above) or save this larger printable card version.)

You’re better than a dozen
half-caf mocha chai macchiatos,
light on the cream, extra whip, to-go!

Yes, the copy intentionally references “LA Story“. I believe the movie’s restaurant table dialog something like:

I’ll have a de-caf coffee.
- De-caf espresso.
- Cappuccino.
Do you have de-caf coffee ice cream?
- I’ll have a de-caf double half caf.
I’ll have a twist of lemon.
- Me, too.
- Me, too.
- Me, too.

As I’m more and more in the minority by drinking black coffee (Americano, “cup of Joe”, “go-go juice”, etc) it’s revealing my imagination’s failure when I confess bewilderment at folks who want an iced anything first thing in the morning. Midday? Well, ok perhaps, but to knock back a chocolate croissant with a double-mocha coffee-shake – with whip, no less — well, ya might as well have a Cocoa Puffs encrusted Nutella ‘n caramel apple. Wait, that sounds good. In fact, now that you mention it the Fairfax Farmers’ Market candy shop does a dandy caramel Granny Smith rolled in mini-Reeses Pieces that I can highly recommended. Just not for breakfast.

Perhaps I’m just mildly irked that I need to wait so long for a simple pour of drip coffee as the five folks ahead on line give minute details about how they want their freedom coffee prepared and packaged. 

Anyway, this card’s genesis is a kid who’d bussed our lunch table at Breadbar earlier; he could have been a Chinese acrobat. And I’d wondered at the time how he could balance all those plates and coffee cups. And could a rabbit do it just as well. Thus this sketch.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Photo I’d taken at Grand Performance appearance by Henan Province Shaolin Monks & Acrobats. More monk pics.

Download the background image by be right clicking or something on the sampler below (it’s linked in the upper left-hand corner). Boo! ( 50% sized /125 pixels below)

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125px (50%) Bats ‘n Cats. Ghosts ‘n Spiders

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